


The Fried Calamari Blues: Or: Poor Decisionmaking Skills Run in the Pines Family

by Missy



Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: Action/Adventure, Cthulhu Mythos, Eldritch, Family, Family Feels, Family Kicking Butt Together, Gen, Humor, Minor Character Death, Rescue Missions, Trick or Treat: Treat
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-24
Updated: 2019-10-24
Packaged: 2021-01-02 13:03:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 420
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21162104
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Missy/pseuds/Missy
Summary: Ford has accidentally summoned an Eldritch monster.  Fortunately, his family's there to help him out.





	The Fried Calamari Blues: Or: Poor Decisionmaking Skills Run in the Pines Family

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Shoulder_Devil](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shoulder_Devil/gifts).

“Maybe don’t do the incantation without witnesses?!” Stan was shouting, which was completely understandable considering the ferocity of the wind howling around himself and his grand niece and nephew. He was climbing up the mast of the Stan O’ War and reaching for a very large purple tentacle, which was wrapped around his twin and waving Ford around like a baby might shake a rattle.

“That’s precisely why I did it alone!” Ford shouted back. His face was a little green, and his fingers were digging into the slimy flesh of the tentacle holding him. “I didn’t want to risk your life, or the children’s lives.”

“So why the – “ and at this point a gust of wind obliterated what Stan was shouting for just a moment – “…Did you do it while we were on a boat in the middle of the freakin’ ocean?”

Ford paused. “Well, now that you’ve put it that way…” The tentacle promptly slammed him into a mast, bruising his nose. “Ouch! I know you’re a demon, but I did summon you!”

Mable, cool and calm on deck, was trying to aim her grappling hook with proper accuracy, but it was hard to do with the ocean pitching around. Dipper was desperately paging through the old book that Ford had bought when they were last in port.

“Grunkle Ford!” he yelled. “Can you remember what page the spell was on?”

“I think it was the last one. It did say something about eldritch creatures!” 

“What’s the Latin for banishment?” Dipper yelled. Then his eyes scanned the page. “Oh wait, I think I see it!! _Exilium_,” he said.

And at that point the creature began to quake and shrink. Mabel fired her grappling hook and it lodged into the mast – Ford managed to grab it as the cthulhuian beast crumbled to the deck. Sliding down the rope, he reached up for Stan and the twins collapsed to the deck together as the creature disappeared, pulled with a howl of the wind and a clearing of the skies back into its own dimension. 

A moment of stillness passed as the seas calmed and Mabel went about rewinding her hook back into its gun.

“So!” said Stan brightly. “Who wants some calamari?” 

The rest of his family groaned and scattered to find supplies to fix the mast.

“What?! There’s some left in the galley!” he said, but prepared himself to help. He loved Ford, but he wasn’t going to let his twin shoulder the burden of his mistake, not anymore.


End file.
